Dependent personality
Since 2012 we have held a medically supervised iboga retreat on the Mayan Riviera near Cancun, Mexico. A traditional Missoko Bwiti ceremony is paired with a psychologist, then three months of follow-up at home. If even small decisions feel impossible without someone else, and being alone frightens you, this page explains how we help.
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Your Own Two Feet
Dependent personality: the ceremony, the numbers, the research and how to prepare.
How it works
Wanting closeness and support is human, not a disorder. For some people, though, the need to be taken care of grows so large that disagreeing, deciding or being alone feels unsafe. That pattern usually began as a way to stay safe.
No study has tested iboga or ibogaine for dependent personality disorder. What follows is our experience with 7,677 guests since 2012. It is a supervised opening alongside psychotherapy, never a replacement for it.
Every guest has a medical screening and bloodwork before travel. The physician reviews every medicine, including any sleep or anxiety medicine, then stays in the room through the ceremony.
The Missoko Bwiti tradition of Gabon asks each person to meet their own life. No one can do it for you, and no one has to. Many guests describe hearing their own voice clearly, sometimes for the first time.
Tania, our psychologist, prepares you before you travel, guides the life review the day after, then helps you plan your return home. Three months of integration calls follow. With your consent, we work with your own therapist.
How iboga acts on the brain
The body turns ibogaine, iboga's main alkaloid, into noribogaine, which stays for days. In lab studies, noribogaine acts on the kappa opioid system, part of how the brain handles stress, and raises serotonin signaling, a little like an antidepressant. In theory, this could touch the anxiety that comes with being alone. Opioids may help hold human bonds together, but no study links ibogaine to attachment.
In animal studies, a single dose switches on growth-factor genes linked to plasticity, which may relate to getting unstuck from old patterns. An open-label study of 30 veterans found large drops in PTSD, depression and anxiety a month after ibogaine, with no control group (Cherian et al., Nature Medicine, 2024). None of this shows an effect on dependent personality. Read more on how iboga works.
What we have seen since 2012
Since 2012, with 7,677 guests, we have seen a traditional treatment help people with this kind of struggle, sometimes profoundly and lastingly. Guests who have always looked to others for direction often describe a night in which they had to stand alone, and found they could.
Afterwards, many speak of small, real changes: choosing a meal without asking, saying no once, feeling less panic when a partner is away. Some find the old fear returns at home. This is our experience, not a clinical study, and the steady work continues in therapy.
Who holds it
Michael and Cory open and hold the ceremony. Tania, our psychologist with close to a decade at Mexico's National Institute of Psychiatry, screens for what iboga cannot hold and carries the integration. Dr Villarreal keeps the body safe.
Safety
The decision to come must be yours, not a partner's or a family member's. The psychologist talks with you alone to make sure of that. Depression and hopelessness often come with dependent personality. Very low self-worth can also bring thoughts of suicide, so we ask about them directly, and kindly.
Psychedelic medicines are not proven safe for personality disorders: one small study suggested a higher risk of feeling worse a month later for people who reported one. We check carefully for alcohol or benzodiazepine use, which some people lean on to calm the fear of being alone. We also screen for bipolar disorder and psychosis, since mania has been reported after unsupervised ibogaine.
Never stop a medicine on your own, especially a benzodiazepine: our physician plans any change with your prescribing doctor. A heart condition needs a careful look first: read how we protect your heart.
Who it is for
The psychologist and the physician decide together. Sometimes the answer is a later date.
Adults 18 or older who recognize the pattern in themselves, with or without a diagnosis, and want to trust their own judgment more. People who have chosen to come for themselves, with a therapist or a plan for therapy at home.
Suicidal thoughts with a plan, a recent suicide attempt, a deep depression right now, bipolar disorder, psychosis or a family history of it, or pregnancy. Daily benzodiazepine or heavy alcohol use needs its own plan first. If someone else is deciding for you, we would rather talk with you alone first.
Why it is hard
When you believe others know better, every choice you make alone feels risky, so handing it over brings relief. In a small study of therapy patients, a sense that "powerful others" control one's life went together with dependency, depression and hopelessness. Dependent personality is uncommon: about 0.5% of US adults met the criteria in one large survey.
Personality changes slowly, usually over a year of work or more, though many traits ease with age. Each small decision made on your own is part of that change.
How to cope
Psychotherapy is the main path. No medicine is approved for any personality disorder. A doctor may suggest an antidepressant for depression that comes with it; benzodiazepines are usually avoided because of the risk of relying on them.
Look for a therapist trained in CBT, psychodynamic therapy or schema therapy. In a trial of 323 patients with anxious or fearful personality disorders, including dependent, schema therapy did better than usual care, with recovery measured at three years. Between sessions, practice small choices on your own, and notice that you survive them.
If you love someone with this pattern, support their choices rather than making them. Doing less for them can be an act of care. Codependency is a different idea and not a diagnosis; our page on love addiction covers it. The NAMI HelpLine offers information for families at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264); it is not a crisis line.
If you have thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988 in the United States, or call or text 9-8-8 in Canada, at any hour. In the US, you can also text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. If a relationship you depend on is hurting you, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is open 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Dates
Open retreats and the dedicated veterans' dates. Eight guests each; full list on the schedule.
We will hold the night with you, but the choices are yours. Many guests leave surprised by how much they already knew.
Pricing, US dollars
All inclusive from Cancún airport: screening, ceremonies, room, meals, three months of follow-up. All payments are final, see the terms. Full pricing.
Questions about dependent personality
No study has tested iboga or ibogaine for dependent personality, so we make no medical claim for it. What guests describe since 2012 is a night of standing in their own life, and more trust in their own choices afterwards. We offer it as a supervised opening alongside psychotherapy.
A lasting, pervasive need to be taken care of, with fear of separation, beginning by early adulthood. It can mean needing reassurance for everyday decisions, struggling to disagree, feeling helpless alone, or rushing into a new relationship when one ends. It sits in Cluster C of the DSM-5-TR.
No. Codependency is a popular term, not a diagnosis. Dependent personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis with defined criteria.
Under 1% of adults in US surveys, about 0.5% in one survey of 43,093 people. It is diagnosed more often in women.
None is approved, and no placebo-controlled studies exist. Antidepressants may help with depression that comes with it. Never stop a medicine on your own.
Yes, they often come together, along with anxiety. If you feel hopeless or think about ending your life, call or text 988 in the United States or Canada.
Only if you want it too. The psychologist talks with you alone to be sure the choice is yours. A first call with the intake team commits you to nothing.
Talk to the intake team about it. Each guest has their own screening and ceremony. The team stays beside you all night, so you are never left alone.
Yes, with your consent. We can send a summary to your therapist, and integration calls can include them if you want.
You've carried this long enough. Start with a conversation with our medical team.
