Grief and loss
Since 2012 we have held a medically supervised iboga retreat on the Mayan Riviera near Cancun, Mexico. A traditional Missoko Bwiti ceremony is paired with a psychologist, then three months of follow-up at home. Guests who come after a death often describe a long night of remembering, and a weight that sits differently in the days after. If your grief has stopped moving, here is how we help.
Free guide · PDF
What Remains
Grief: the ceremony, the numbers, the research and how to prepare.
How we help
Grief is not an illness, and we do not treat it as one. What we offer is a careful frame for a long night of looking back, held by people who have sat beside many losses.
No study has tested iboga or ibogaine for grief. What follows is what guests describe, from our experience with 7,677 guests since 2012. It is a supervised opening alongside grief therapy, never a replacement for it.
Grief is tiring in itself. Every guest has a medical screening and bloodwork before travel. The physician reviews every medicine, then stays in the room through the ceremony.
The Missoko Bwiti tradition of Gabon gives the ancestors a place in the ceremony. Many guests describe meeting the person they lost, or finally saying what was left unsaid. We hold that as their experience, not as a medical claim.
Tania, our psychologist, prepares you before you travel and guides the life review the day after. Three months of integration calls follow at home. With your consent, we send a summary to your own therapist.
Who holds it
Michael and Cory open and hold the ceremony; Tania, our psychologist with close to a decade at Mexico's National Institute of Psychiatry, screens for what iboga cannot hold and carries the integration; Dr Villarreal keeps the body safe.
Who it is for
Adults 18 and over carrying a loss that has not eased with time: a partner, a child, a parent, a friend, a death that was sudden or by suicide. People who want to look at the loss with support, alongside grief therapy at home rather than instead of it.
Active psychosis or recent mania, an unstable eating disorder, acute suicidality, a medication that cannot be tapered in time, or pregnancy. A heart condition needs a careful look first: read how we protect your heart. A death in the last few weeks is a reason to wait: we usually suggest a later date, once the first shock has passed. The psychologist and the physician decide together, and sometimes the answer is a later date.
Why it is hard
Most people find their way through grief over time with no treatment at all. In a review of 14 studies, about 1 in 10 bereaved adults stayed caught in intense yearning, a state now called prolonged grief disorder. After a sudden or violent death, it is far more common.
Avoiding reminders, or being unable to accept that the death is real, can keep a loss raw for years. Grief also lives in the body: in one study, heart attack risk was about 21 times higher in the 24 hours after the death of someone close, though the absolute risk stayed small.
There is no timeline you have to meet. Most grief needs people, time and room to talk about the person, not treatment.
If grief is still sharp after a year, ask for a therapist trained in prolonged grief disorder therapy, developed by Katherine Shear. In a trial of 95 adults, half responded to it, against 28% with interpersonal therapy. In a later trial of 395 adults, adding the antidepressant citalopram gave no extra benefit.
If you have thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988 in the United States or Canada, at any hour.
The Compassionate Friends supports families after the death of a child (compassionatefriends.org). Dougy Center supports grieving children and their families (dougy.org). In Canada, MyGrief.ca offers free online grief support.
GriefShare runs grief groups hosted by churches, with Christian content; some are free, others cost up to about $25. Families grieving a military death can call the TAPS helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277), 24/7.
Dates
Open retreats and the dedicated veterans' dates. Eight guests each; full list on the schedule.
The care was clinical without being cold: bloodwork before, vitals during, a real plan after. I have not felt this steady in years.
Pricing, US dollars
All inclusive from Cancún airport: screening, ceremonies, room, meals, three months of follow-up. All payments are final, see the terms. Full pricing.
Questions about grief
No study has tested iboga or ibogaine for grief, so we will not say it treats it. What guests describe since 2012 is a long night of remembering, often with a sense of the person they lost, and a lighter weight after. We offer it as a supervised opening alongside grief therapy.
A diagnosis added to the DSM-5-TR in 2022. In adults it means at least 12 months since the death, intense yearning or preoccupation nearly every day, and at least 3 of 8 signs, such as numbness, loneliness or feeling life has no meaning. The ICD-11 uses 6 months, adjusted for cultural norms.
There is no fixed timeline. Most people adapt over time. In one review, about 1 in 10 bereaved adults developed prolonged grief disorder; the figure varies with how it is measured.
No. Grief is a normal response to loss. Only grief that stays intense and stops daily life over a long time meets the criteria for prolonged grief disorder.
Not in the first weeks. The first days after a loss are hard on the whole body, so the physician and the psychologist look at the timing with you. Sometimes the right answer is a later date.
Often, yes, with a plan. Some antidepressants change how the body handles iboga, so our physician reviews every medicine with your prescribing doctor. Never stop or change a medicine on your own.
We cannot promise what the night will show. Many guests describe a meeting, a conversation or a goodbye. Others see their own life instead. The practitioner helps you make sense of whatever came, the next day.
Prolonged grief disorder therapy, developed by Katherine Shear, has the strongest trial evidence. In adults aged 50 and over, 70.5% responded, against 32.0% with interpersonal therapy.
In a trial of 395 adults, grief therapy worked as well without citalopram as with it: 82.5% responded with therapy and placebo, 83.7% with therapy and citalopram. Antidepressants can still help with depression that comes with grief; ask your doctor.
Sudden or violent loss carries a higher risk of grief that stays stuck. Across studies of deaths by accident, disaster, suicide or homicide, about half of the bereaved met criteria for prolonged grief. Seek grief-focused support early rather than waiting.
Losing someone to suicide raises your own risk, so the psychologist asks about it directly and kindly. If you have thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988 in the United States or Canada first. A retreat can wait.
Steady presence, practical help, and listening without trying to fix it. Say the name of the person who died. Watch for signs that they are thinking of suicide, and if you are worried, call 988 with them.
No. Belief is not required, and nothing is asked of you that goes against your own faith. Telling the truth about your loss helps more than any belief.
Yes, with your consent. We can send a summary to your grief counselor or therapist, and integration calls can include them if you want.
You've carried this long enough. Start with a conversation with our medical team.
